cutie lady Ila
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  • Years:
  • 21
  • Where am I from:
  • Estonian
  • Tint of my eyes:
  • Hazel
  • My hair:
  • I have long scraggly honey-blond hair
  • What I like to drink:
  • Absinthe
  • What I prefer to listen:
  • Folk
  • What is my hobbies:
  • In my spare time I love swimming


Striking up friendships can be tricky — and studies show millions of us are lonely. Here, four people who forged new connections explain how they did it. Plus: psychologist Linda Blair gives her tips. Teenage years are filled with friendships easily made and some easily forgottenwhen you are feeling keen, sociable and energetic. Then there are engagements, marriage, relocation, career changes, families: life comes calling with its multiple demands, and friendships evolve as a result. I have been happy to see my friends move through these huge life moments, but as much as I value my friendships, I have found myself lonely at times.


Many of us are now feeling a pull to connect with someone from our past.

If the police declared your best friend wanted with a n50m reward, would you turn them in?

After all, you can be around people all day — children, spouses, roommates — and still feel lonely. You might be missing your most intimate relationships, your fun acquaintances and the communities you belong to that bring out certain sides of your personality. Because when we feel lonely, studies show we also tend to be more impulsive. You might also be feeling bolder because of the pandemic.

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Studies show that being aware of our own mortality — a psychological concept called mortality salience — makes us want to pull our friendships close. Another reason for looking to rekindle old relationships is that you might be seeking comfort.

Research shows that friendship fundamentally alters the way we perceive stress.

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Marisa Francoa psychologist and relationship expert. Before you reach out, experts agree you should think about what your intentions are.

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Did your friendship officially — or unofficially — end? Was there betrayal or disloyalty involved? Why you stopped talking to each other will influence how you approach the person and how that acquaintance responds to you.

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Get as clear a picture as possible before you reach out. Not every friendship is a good one. If your friendship was codependent, one-sided or unhealthy in any way, proceed with extreme caution. Franco said.

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Think of the positive relationships that made you feel valued. There was loyalty, trust and vulnerability too. If those sort of friendships are coming to mind, Dr. Franco thinks you should definitely reach out.


Research shows that people tend to be forgiving when they see others approaching them with good intentions, Dr. If you want to help your former friend, be specific in how you can lend a hand. Would that be OK? A thoughtfully worded sympathy card could go a long way to warming a friendship.

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When you share a thoughtful message, that person will be more open to taking you up on your offer of support. Wilkerson Miller suggests giving an authentic compliment to open a conversation.

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It looks beautiful. It can be tempting to ask to hop on a call or arrange a virtual happy hour, but that can be overwhelming. Send out a few low-pressure feelers a short or direct message on social media and see where it goes from there.

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Oscar Ybarraa psychology professor at the University of Michigan. Tread carefully. Think about what you have to offer them.

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Wilkerson Miller said. When you do reconnect with those old friends, Dr. Franco recommends reminiscing about the past. Think about why you want closure and specifically about what went wrong.

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Reaching out might not get you what you want, and could even make you feel worse. Franco says you should ask yourself if you have the psychological wherewithal to deal with that in this moment.

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Sometimes closure is something we have to give ourselves. Jurado Kelly said. Experts agreed that if you want to apologize or own up to bad behavior on your part, or direct messages over social media is a good place to re-establish contact.

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This way, your former friend can read your message in private and decide how they want to respond. You heard a former friend has been impacted by the virus and you want to check in Research shows that people tend to be forgiving when they see others approaching them with good intentions, Dr.

You need cheering up from an old pal Tread carefully.

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You need closure Think about why you want closure and specifically about what went wrong.

Popular users


As a young adult, it often feels like you don't even have to think about how to make friends.


There is a popular saying that a true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.


If I actually stumbled across such an app, I KNOW I would either become obsessed with the search, or would be terrified of people responding to my profile.


How can we help kids make friends?